Monday, October 5, 2009

exams are here! . . . hope everyone is studying hard and working hard to do their best... meanwhile, im going to bitch about myself and wallow in self pity, so take this as a notice, of sorts. if you hate such things, leave my blog. not that there are many who would be here in the first place.

first things first, i hate exams. i hate how our entire future should be determined by how close our written words match that of an answer sheet. its so annoying. to study. to work hard. lol. i think im spoiled. im so lazy, i dont do work and even then i have the nerve to ask for things. there should be reward only with risk. returns only when there's something to return. when you dont give anything, how can you expect to take? lol. *emo* *suicide* *depression*. gah. what depressive words. lol. perfect example: im writing this 2 days before my exams start, when i should spend this time studying. i love that i am alive. i love my friends, i do love my life, i do love my parents, i do love my dogs, i do love everything i have. i admire the courage my mum had to bring me up singlehandedly, and to go on. i will acknowledge that it wasnt easy. and she only has one child, which is me. which is also one of the main reasons i canNOT allow any self-damaging thoughts to come to mind. being the only child, she will rely on me when i grow old. i do not have any sibling that i could hope to push the responsibility to. i hate responsibility. i remember, in primary school i didnt want to be a monitor for that very reason. didnt want to be a prefect either, nor a councillor. just 'that other guy' you see as you walk the street. lol. turns out everyone has to work hard at some point, and earn money. especially me. i gotta support peoplez! gah. what a long blog(for me). man. also im already 15 so even if they have a kid now its not gonna be not-tough. man. God just kill me. its not like you havent done such a thing before.
ITSMEBECYAYstarted this journey at9:13 AM